Nick Neercassel and the Case of the Ledge at the Edge of the Abyss

The radio in my 67 Mustang was acting weirdly. It was early October and it was playing Christmas songs:

"In his 12th book of Christmas/ Monty Zephyr said to us/ It's actually alright to cuss"

I immediately turned the radio off and then back on. I tried a different station. The results were the same:

"In his 11th book of Christmas/ Monty Zephyr said to us/ ...."

I turned the radio off again and this time left it off. What was going on? And where was I by the way? I was driving on a two lane paved road with high trees on either side. I had the top down and the weather was rather pleasant; sunny and bright and warm. Judging by the position of the sun, it was sometime around mid-day. Then it came back to me. The last thing I remember was hurtling through space toward the moon in a contraption that was little more than a glorified tin can. Now I was back on Earth driving down an unnamed highway.

I guess it's time to re-introduce myself. I'm Nick Neercassel, your friendly but currently befuddled and bewildered TPE (Theological Private Eye). I solve cases for the Lord but I usually know where I am and where I'm going. This time I didn't have the luxury of either.

Part II

Since there were no side roads as far as I could tell, I figured I only had two choices: either turn around and go back from where I came (wherever that was) or keep going straight ahead. Both destinations were a mystery. I decided to keep going straight ahead. Funny thing though, the gas gauge stayed on full no matter how many miles I traveled.

I know what you're thinking. Why doesn't Neercassel take out his celestial cell phone and call Third Heaven Central? Why doesn't he use his GPS (God Positioning System)? The answer is simple. Neither one was in my possession. And please don't ask what happened to them. I simply don't know.

Verging on a sense of desperation, I tried the car radio again. This time it wasn't a song by Monty Zephyr but Monty Zephyr himself:

"Hello, friends and lovers of the truth! This is Monty Zephyr coming at you from my studio at the Shagah Cafe in St. George, South Carolina. I've got some wonderful news for you loyal listeners. My latest book, 'Tarnished Treasures' which is actually my 12th book of Christmas, is now in book stores everywhere, and I mean everywhere! "

I quickly turned the radio off yet again. I seemed to be in the midst of a nightmare. Was I still in the dimensional plane of an Atonal Reality (AR) or had I passed over into another hupostasis?

Part III

I kept going straight. Nothing appeared to change. The trees remained high on either side and the sun didn't move in the sky. Tentatively, I turned the radio on yet one more time.

"Hello, fellow humans and those who are overly fond of verisimilitude. This is the Great Gabster, himself, W. Scott Fitztaylor, bringing you the radio show that has no peers and could only be made by yours truly: 'My Mind is Its Own Paradigm.'"

W. Scott Fitztaylor! We had met in an earlier Nick Neercassel adventure but then, if I remember correctly, he did all the talking. We all might as well be quiet and listen for a while.

"The last thing God wants to do is to control someone."

"Finite in mind, infinite in spirit."

"Bounded by the iron law of the nature of reality."

"I met Plato's perfect horse at a reception for formidable Bible scholars. Since he was perfect, it goes without saying he was polite and unassuming."

"Every story is a story about what might have been or what could have been or even...what was."

"We are on the horns of a polylemma."

"If we live in a pre-determined universe, where every action is absolutely necessary for every subsequent action, then everyone's life has meaning, whether or not they believe in God. On the other hand, if we live in a non-deterministic universe, where in effect each one of us is tossed out on a raging sea without a life preserver, then life can only have meaning if there is a God."

"But in a deterministic universe where God can manipulate every event ahead of time, why would he ever feel the need to portray himself as a liar?"

"Under the rules of reality, what are the ultimate limits of an individual being?"

"The concept that God has already planned the entire sweep of time, from the beginning to the end, is really just a way of justifying one's life."

"It stands to reason if God planned every future action from point Alpha to point Omega, he would have to include himself in the planning."

"After a while, at some point, belief becomes a matter of preference rather than a matter of proof."

Part IV

More strangeness. I had been traveling for what seemed like hours yet I was neither hungry nor thirsty. Nor was I tired or sleepy. I seemed to be existing in a state of minimal flux. The only thing moving was the car and it was going down a highway that apparently had no end.

Then it ended.

And the end was rather spectacular. The trees had disappeared and the car had quit moving. Two large creatures (each about fifty feet high) with humanoid features were facing each on a barren plain. Just beyond them the land just stopped or to put it more accurately, it just dropped. It was the Grand Canyon to the nth degree.

Both creatures were bloodied and beaten. Neither one appeared to have an advantage. I was too small and insignificant to be of any interest to them. I reveled in my insignificance. I thought about running but the sight was too mesmerizing and I watched in stunned amazement.

Out of  my deep subconscious a thought suddenly appeared: his enemy had never known defeat and to defeat his enemy he might have to be defeated himself.

He had a choice. We all do. Some of us pretend we don't. That way we don't have to take responsibility for the evil that we do.

And then they were falling, both of them together, grasping each other in a death grip, off the cliff, into the abyss.

My legs came back to life and I ran to the edge of the cliff to see what I could see and when I looked over I couldn't believe my eyes. Below me about thirty feet or so there was a ledge and on the ledge were a throng of living human beings.

Part V

The shame of it all there was nothing I could do. The wall of the cliff was sheer and then I remembered the car and ran back to it. I opened the trunk and lo and behold there was a long rope at least forty feet in length. I immediately drove to the edge of the cliff where I turned the car around and backed as close as I could to the edge. I then jumped out of the car and attached one end of the rope to the back bumper. After doing so, I threw the other end down to the people below. 

"I can bring you up one at a time!" I shouted down.

But no one grabbed the rope. They seemed resigned to their fate. I couldn't believe it.

"I can save you but you'll have to grab on to the rope and trust me as I pull you up."

Finally, one intrepid soul stepped up and put her hands firmly around the end of the rope. I put the car in drive and slowly drove forward.

Eventually everyone was saved.

THE END