The Origin of the Wullet

Revisionist History?

As my most loyal readers know, my life as a Theological Private Eye (TPE) has often been in peril. What's saved me more times than I count is the humble Wullet. But have you ever wondered where the Wullet came from? Well, what follows may or may not answer that question.

Sloppy Sam's Contribution to Civilization

This here is my idear and I like it. You may not like it but that's your pig to slop. I'm going to tell it to you anyway.

As the Large At-Large BBQ critic for Texalina Press, it's my job to check out all the BBQ joints in South and North Texalina and decide whether or not they're serving passable Pork BBQ (TT is my countrypart in the Beef sexshun). This is one hell of a job and I'm usually pushed for time. That's why lately I've been using the drive-thrus. When you're checking out 10 or more BBQ joints a day there ain't much time to inspect the kitchen or comment on the ambulance. I'm usually just finishing one BBQ sandwich when I'm pulling up to the next joint. Now you're probably wondering the effects of this much BBQ on one man's system. Well, I plan to undress that issue in an upcoming assay, "Outhouse Safety and the Wullet." But thirst things thirst. Back to the drive-thrus. They're convenient, but there was another problem. I had to keep reaching back to my back pants pocket for my wallet. This ain't much fun when you got a fat behind blocking the way. That's when I came up with the idear of putting the wallet in my shirt pocket. Lordy, things were getting better. But there was another problem. Texalina, specially South T, is a wild place, full of guns, tobacky, and whisky. I was getting shot at an average of 2 to 3 times a week. That's when I came up with the second part of my idear. Place a lightweight steel plate in the wallet. I decided to call my invention the Wullet - a bullet-proof wallet that sits in your front left shirt pocket.

I consider the wullet as my gift to mankind. I ain't asking no money for it and I don't plan to parent it. If you got any sense you'll get yourself a wullet, specially if you're living in Texalina.

THE END